L.A. Wheeler
Lower Third
My sister explains that all of the most talented young artists work commercially,
have too many student loans not to make the animations that couch Teen Mom 2
from the Always My Fit™ commercials that blare: Sixty percent of women are wearing
the wrong size pad. If the baby shower is too much of a disaster, nothing will
appear on the cartoon yearbook. The tension is too real to animate.
​
The company that invented the way text superimposes on television broadcasts
no longer exists, merged, changed
spellings, and then changed back. Its creators call their original impulse lofty:
lofty simple font,
lofty electronic text field,
lofty arrivals and departures.
​
It was Chyron, after the wisest and justest centaur, he had front legs
of a human, and a back half of a horse—this made him more respectable,
and truthfully was his name was spelt Chiron but this was a registered
trademark in California, a y is as good as an i.
​
Before, the method was handwritten cards and then it was all scrolling felt, dissolves, and
knowing in advance what was going to happen on camera.
​
I’ll never betray my handwriting, why would I let you know. The hardest part of
learning calligraphy is understanding that it’s not handwriting, it’s shapes.
​
This was all just waiting there for me. In seventh grade mythology, I wrote my name
And SA at the top of my yellow lined paper as instructed.
This was very funny. But this exception-
al centaur lived on a hook-shaped Mount covered in tart fruit, a golden
apple, swaying gap-toothed daisies—I essay to tell you that nothing has changed.
L. A. Wheeler is a writer and artist in Lawrence, Kansas. Abandoners, her first book, is forthcoming from The Operating System in 2018. Her photo-essay "A Little Hell of Its Own" won the 2013 Bone Bouquet Experimental Prose Contest, and other work has appeared in Omniverse, Forklift, Ohio, and ILK. She studied at the Pratt Institute, the Iowa Writers' Workshop, and currently at the University of Kansas. You can find her at home with Dinah, Hugo, and Karl.
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