Hey Siri, tell chain-smoking lover

I don’t need his passive-aggressive sympathy.

“Sorry, I didn’t quite hear that, Em.”

Siri, what’s the longest time it’s

taken for a body to be discovered?

“According to this article, a Croation woman

died in front of her television

and wasn't found for forty-two years.”

Hey Siri, do a search for ‘heinous sins.’

“Did you mean ‘hairy sims’?”

Siri, is there a 1-800 line for confessions?

Do you think a dozen Hail Marys

would keep someone in the grave

and not haunting the graveyard?

Siri, can you OD on melatonin?

“I’ll look that up for you.

Here are some results: ‘Need help? United States:

1 (800) 273-8255

National Suicide Prevention—”

Siri, text Chain-Smoker “I love you”—

Don’t send.

Siri, play bleakness on repeat.