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Volume 8.1

Hyejung Kook​

Self-Portrait as Ghost

In the dark        alone        pissed off        I piled on
black eyeliner         then turned the phone
on myself        glasses off        unable to see what
I looked like        as I took each shot        my face
weirdly glowing        bluish white        what little I could see
behind the wild tangle of my hair        I kept covering
more and more of myself        obscuring everything
except my anger        smoldering in the dark        like the red
and black that filled        the little hole in the paper wall
the traveler had made        with a finger he wet
in his mouth        to peek        into the next room
violating the condition of his stay        when he bent
his head to the peephole        all he saw was inhuman red
swallowing a pinpoint of black        the eye
of the woman-witch-ghost        who had given him shelter
staring straight        at his transgression        I was afraid
of the story as I told it        I have been afraid and ashamed
of my rage        but last night         in the shadows
the lines I drew across my face         unmaking
my features until I was unrecognizable        terrifying
at first        all I saw in that implacable gaze
was pure black        I couldn't turn away from
until I saw reflected in my pupil        a white blur
a ghost        I had become light        pure incandescence

Hyejung

Hyejung Kook’s poems have most recently appeared in POETRY, Curating Home, Pleiades, The World I Leave You: Asian American Poets on Faith and Spirit, and The Massachusetts Review. Other works include an essay in The Critical Flame and a chamber opera libretto. Born in Seoul, Korea, she now lives in Kansas with her husband and two children.

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