Ashley Roach-Freiman

self-portrait with fur

            Still trying to understand 

what it means           to be still 

         with what it is to touch 

each living thing       & say mine.

To look at my good man & say

        I have a good man. 

He waters the cabbages

        & pinches the little caterpillars. 

       We lie in the bed

we make & sometimes we lie deep

      in our anger. Sometimes I put my finger

on a flea bite       & bleed       & sometimes the itch

          slips away. Living things are slippery 

& I am a living thing.        I can hardly

      believe my own body   -   jellyfish, cardinal, 

rabbit hide. Animal grace bright along the body.

            Still trying to understand what it means

to be still, to look at my man           & say mine.

          He watches the little caterpillars & lights

with fingers my slippery hide.             What is it

       to be true, to touch every living thing, 

flea & bleed,    slip & itch.        Still           & not still.

          Road, wire, bed, floor.        Everything 

will drop & seed.     I can hardly believe

       my rabbit hide body, itchy slip hide, still trying

to be with cardinal, be still with waiting,

      have a good heart,          lie in the blood bed, 

                      and say mine, mine.