I am learning to suck silence

through the invisible straw

connected to my body.

If I suck too hard

I make a slurping sound

and silence disappears.

This is part of the learning curve.

If I watch TV, silence flees

as if it’s angry,

stays away days.

That saying, silence is golden, is wrong.

Silence is the color of longing.

Sometimes when sucking on the straw,

other things try to force their way in—

lately my dead mother’s voice.

I have to concentrate harder.

The most challenging aspect of sucking

down silence is believing

you’re actually doing it.

The second you doubt,

you’re left with everything

silence isn’t.